Category Archives: Luke's blog
Cricket
My blog. My rules. Tomorrow I might write a very exciting blog about the dinner I am cooking tonight for some seriously famous people. Its going to be wonderful. I’ll probably snog someone inappropriate, get my trousers caught in the Aga- you know the kind of wacky shenanigans that I get up to. I know, [...]
Roast
It looked like a giant be-legged, hairless testicle.
Our ten bird roast. A great poultry and game filled gonad. With delicious moist legs and a well seasoned forcemeat. It was AMAZING. A ten bird roast. Think on that awhile. Protein layer upon protein layer, moistness, fats and enough bird carcass to make the best gravy EVER.
Dave [...]
Share alike
I just took delivery of a punnet of massive strawberries. Huge. Like baby’s fists they are. Exactly equidistant in girth between a ping pong and tennis ball. Exactly. And biting into one set off a pavlovian reaction about which I had to write.
You see I have an a vivid childhood memory from around 1984 when [...]
Sadness
Lets not be silly, I’m not depressed. I’m not a manic depressive. I’m not bi-polar or suffering from mental illness. I know people who have suffered all of these things and I wouldn’t be as glib to suggest that I was in that particular ball park. But I get very sad sometimes. Melancholic, I am enveloped [...]
The dinner party.
You know that feeling when you are washing rancid scallop juice out of your backpack with toilet duck, in the shower?
I know! Annoying, isn’t it?
Well I was doing that this morning, whilst mainlining gaviscon and thinking that was a punchy weekend….
And all I did was host a little dinner party on Saturday night.
Six of my closest [...]
Nevermind
Next year it will be twenty years since Smells Like Teen Spirit.
And I know that statistically most of you will not be thirty three years old and therefore by definition were not fourteen in 1991. So I will keep this brief and to the point. But Smells Like Teen Spirit is THE anthem of [...]
Pie
I am convinced, said Sydney Smith that character, talents, virtues and qualities are powerfully affected by beef, mutton, pie crust and rich soups.
Indeed Sydney, indeed. And as an estimable man of the eighteenth century cloth, one can only surmise that God and his earthly foot soldiers, given half the chance would all enjoy a nice [...]
Man Love
So there I was, stark bollock naked, on a pier, punching my best friend in the face.
.
It’s tempting to stop writing now and just leave that hanging. I wonder what kind of comments I would get. You don’t need the details, we were students. There were some japes and hi-jinks and we punched each other [...]
Greedy
I am a greedy pig. A great big greedy piggy. I really love eating too much stuff than I strictly should.
And I get mouth boredom a lot too. Mouth boredom is when you have had, for example, a massive roast dinner at three thirty on a Sunday afternoon and still, despite your stuffed gut, crave [...]
Perfection
I only know one perfect thing. Of all the things that I know, only one of them is perfect. And it’s not a Roux souffle or anything Blumenthal. Or even the view from Likoma island across the lake to Mozambique at sun set.
It simply cannot be improved upon and when I hear it, tears flow [...]